I now know what a baked potato feels like.

So yesterday I had my first massage. Not at all what I was expecting. What I was expecting, a pumped up Swedish guy named Sven, what I got an androgynous gal named Michelle. I know the reason for a massage is to relax, I was having a hard time relaxing. I tried to close my eyes and pretend it was Colin Ferrel rubbing me down, but I just couldn't do it. I am also very ticklish, so I had to tense up every time Michelle came near my ticklish zones.

Recommended by a friend, Single Wide & I opted for the Ginger Massage. When I walked into the room Michelle asked me if I were claustrophobic, I am, but told her NO. The treatment started out with a 30 minute rub down, again soothing, but I had a hard time relaxing. She then left the room and returned with a cooler, instructed me to stand by the table. With industrial strength rubber gloves reached into the cooler and pulled out a steaming cloth, and proceeded to unfold it on the table. I hate being hot, I hate sweating, this was not looking FUN. Then I was asked to lay on the steaming cloth. Reluctantly I climbed on (It was to late to turn back now). Then she wrapped this steaming cloth around me, followed by a layer of what looked like Tin Foil then several blankets. I was wrapped up like a burrito, unable to move, sweating like a pig. Can you say UNCOMFORTABLE?

Again Michelle left the room. At this time my nose started itching. How the hell can I scratch my nose my arms were wrapped under tinfoil I couldn't move them more than two inches. So I began flailing my head trying to get my nose somewhere near the cloth that was around my neck. I sure hope they don't have video cameras in these rooms, I looked like I was having an epileptic seizure. Michelle finally returned, my itch had left. She then massaged my shoulders & scalp (me still trying to envision Colin Ferrel). After about 30 minutes of being wrapped up like a hot pocket, the layers began coming off. This was the most incredible feeling, after being hot & sweaty under the tin foil, the cool air was exhilarating.

I rejoined Single Wide in the lounge awaiting our pedicures. We both discussed the feeling of being wrapped up. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't what we wanted. We were told this treatment was detoxifying, I was expecting to smell the scent of Yuengling & Yager Bombs when I was being unwrapped. Next time I will opt for a regular massage instead.